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The place I went to was called Aroma Café, a small restaurant in North Hollywood. I can’t seem to go there without seeing several couples of varying ages or types.
Watched couples in line waiting to order (the line always goes out the door so you can see people as they wait outside then transition to the indoors). Some stand a little apart from each other and look at their menus without talking much. Some stand like they are one person, the girl leaning on the man as they both share one menu. They don’t talk much either and they hold each other close. Others talk constantly, flirting, touching and laughing as though they were alone. The people taking orders don’t really notice the couples, just individual orders as they come. When asked if people are paying together or separate, only one guy paid for both him and his partners meal. The girl stood off to the side a little when he did so and thanked him quietly. Once the girl would not let the man pay for her which caused a small holdup as they quietly talked about who would pay until finally agreeing to pay separately. There was a moment where a girl seemed surprised that the person she was with wasn’t paying for her but she reacted almost immediately with a smile and the man didn’t notice or didn’t seem to notice at the time.
Sitting on the patio, I could see more couples. Some of the same couples who had been in line before, and some new ones. I saw at least one married couple (or at least a man and a woman each wearing a wedding ring sitting together). They ate slowly, and they talked a lot while they ate, so their plates weren’t cleared for a long time. They sat across from each other at a small table and looked at each other while they did so. The man who was talking gestured expressively with his hands and arms and the woman laughed while he did which made him smile in turn. There was a couple in the corner of the patio who held hands constantly when they weren’t holding a fork or utensil. They were sharing a big piece of what looked like red velvet cake or some kind of dessert. They both looked young, and the girl kept resting her head on the others’ shoulder in between bites. Every now and then he would pop a quick kiss on the top of her head or her brow, or she would turn her head and they would share a kiss on the lips that didn’t last very long. When someone came by to take their empty plate, they held still for a brief moment until he went away, and then they relaxed again.
There was a couple that seemed nervous, a couple I had seen in line. They both talked constantly but quietly, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves. The woman wore glasses and kept pushing them up her nose. The man would lean forward as he talked to her, earnestly looking into her eyes. They sat across from each other as well and each hardly touched the other at all. They sat longer than I was there. By the time I left their plates had been taken away but they hardly seemed to notice as they went back and forth in conversation, taking brief pauses every now and then for a sip of coffee or water.
I don’t know if I saw anything particularly radical but it was interesting to see the connections being made (or not made!) as the night went on. The depth of older relationships was easy to see as a middle-aged couple slowly went about their meal: the husband/ boyfriend/ life partner knowing how to make the person he was sitting with crack up with just a gesture or phrase. I have no idea how long they had been a couple or if they even were, but it seemed like they had weathered a few storms together (hopefully nothing as rough the couple in “Fatal Attraction,” though I can see how that would bring people closer together as well). The freedom they had with each other, the way they talked, the way they moved, how they waited on each other if the other had a story or anecdote- these are people who have a deep love and respect for each other. Contrast that to the young couples in line, who seemed to not have known each other for very long or who seemed to not care for each other as deeply.
It could be a generational thing, but I noticed that the people who looked my age weren’t overly interested in the person they were with except for the last couple I observed, who seemed to be on a first date. Phones were looked at during conversation or in line, text messages occasionally sent, but this didn’t seem to bother anyone on either side of the equation. Perhaps this takes “radical” out of the equation, but these people were tolerant to let that happen during a normal meeting with someone of the opposite gender. Seems rude to me, but I haven’t been on a date in ages so what do I know?
I didn’t notice any same-sex couples but it wouldn’t surprise me if I just didn’t notice them. My eye gravitated towards clusters of two who seemed to be sharing intimate moments. I was intrigued by the two young couples, the one in the corner who shared dessert, and the maybe-couple whose members clearly hadn’t known each other very long but definitely were interested in doing so. I got to see the earnestness and undivided attention that goes into meeting someone for the first time, and I got to see the relaxation, the contentment of two people who had been together for perhaps a little longer.
I wished I would have seen a former lover burst into the patio and swear to kill the new beau, and have a fight ensue. That would have been radical in every sense of the word. Mostly I saw warmth and contentment.
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